Life of Possibility

This week, I was blessed to witness the birth of my third grandson. What a true miracle it is to see a soul take their first breath of life! Some of the words that went through my mind include: amazing, miraculous, precious, pure, innocence, deep love, cherished, awakening, awe- inspiring, admiration, and hope. I wondered what it must be like for that little infant to go from such a safe, secure environment and suddenly be thrust into a strange, new place, with light, sound, touch, taste, pain, love, and a myriad of other new experiences all within a moment of his first breath. What an amazing thing that human beings can adapt so readily to such an extreme change in our environment at such a tender young age! My little grandson has a whole world available to him to explore, learn, and grow from. Each moment of his life is an opportunity to explore all the possibilities that life has to offer. He lives in possibility everyday.

I don’t know about you, but I find that it is challenging to always live with an attitude of possibility everyday. What happens as we grow, is that life experiences teach us to close off to the new things that come our way and protect ourselves from hurt, pain, disappointment, failure etc. As a result, we sometimes miss the millions of possibilities that can be waiting for us just on the horizon. We often find ourselves feeling unsatisfied, or stuck in our circumstances whatever they be. We begin to see only what seems to be the impossible.

Do you find yourself like me, living in impossibility more often than you’d like? When life throws you a curve ball, do you see only the impossible task ahead rather than the new possibilities that may now be open to you?  How can you know if you are living in impossibility rather than possibility? If you find yourself using words like… too much, too busy, too sad, too tired, too anything. Or, I can’t because…, It won’t work because…, I could never do that because…., then you are focusing on what is impossible rather than looking for what is possible in that moment or in your life.

There is always a cost and a benefit to everything we choose. Ask yourself, “what is my attitude of impossibility costing me?” “What am I not seeing? What am I missing out on? “ What would be different if you chose to view the possibilities right now? What could happen for you?

If you are ready to become more aware of how impossibility and possibilities are showing up in your life and where you can choose to do something different, consider some of these action challenges that my good friend and mentor coach, Martha Pasternack, offered this week in the Fearless Living weekly tip.

"Take some centered time to be honest with yourself.

What are you naming as impossible? 
What are you calling impossible? 
Is that coming from your fear or your freedom? 
If it is fear, how can you respond with kindness, discernment and compassion? 
If from freedom, how can you act from an authentic and self accepting place?

Now do the same thing with asking yourself what you name as possible for you.
What is possible for you based on your core need, your essential nature, your wholeness? 
What are your dreams, goals and desires for yourself, your family, your business? 
Are you naming them possible or impossible? 
Stay with this for a few minutes and listen to your soul speak to you.

Sort out this awareness of what is possible and what is impossible. Where do YOU want to dwell?"

Crisis Equals Opportunity?

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis’. One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger – but recognize the opportunity.” ~John F. Kennedy

When I first read this quote a few months ago, it came during the height of the economic crisis and the very real and scary downturn in the housing industry. Like many others, we felt the pressure of the crisis in a very profound way. My husband had just lost his job, and I was suddenly no longer a stay at home mom with a part-time life coaching practice, but the main income producer in my home. I have to admit, it wasn’t easy to see opportunity in that moment. I missed the freedom. The freedom to plan my own schedule. The freedom to play with my kids at a moment’s notice. The freedom to go to lunch with a friend whenever I chose or chaperone the school field trip to the science center. Along with those things, there were the more practical issues such as, the freedom to buy a new blouse for me or pair of shoes for my son, or the freedom to enjoy perks of life such as dinners out, purchases for hobbies, and private lessons for the children. Or, the sudden challenge of losing health insurance so that each cold, flu, or other pain or ill, became a stressful battle between should we or shouldn’t we spend the precious money on a doctor’s visit? It seemed everywhere I turned, there were reminders of all the things I could no longer have in my life. Or, of how difficult everything was now.

And what did I have to replace them? How about the awkward moment when shopping with my sister as she bought a cute new outfit while I pretended to enjoy just browsing the racks? Or, how about the cheap cardboard pizza – one topping of course – instead of the loaded up, thick crust, all the meats specialty I normally ordered. At least I got to go shopping and spend time with her right? Or, at least it was pizza right? Some things just couldn’t be replaced of course. Some things you just learn to do without.

Without. Isn’t that the way it feels when this type of crisis strikes our lives? I know that for me, there have certainly been plenty of times recently where I could only see the things that were gone, no longer available, or somehow, forever changed. Some people refer to this as a “lack mentality”. You know the type, those people who can only see the cup half empty vs. half full. Seriously, how many people will actually admit that they are a half empty girl? Don’t we all want to believe that in the moment when it counts, we are “see the cup half full” people?

So, what about this ‘opportunity’ that is supposed to be part of the crisis? Where and when did some Chinese philosopher come up with that one? Albert Einstein once said: “Let’s not pretend that things will change if we keep doing the same things. A crisis can be a real blessing to any person, to any nation. For all crises bring progress. Creativity is born from anguish, just like the day is born from the dark night. It’s in crisis that inventiveness is born, as well as discoveries and big strategies. Who overcomes crisis overcomes himself, without getting overcome. Who blames his failure to a crisis neglects his own talent, and is more respectful to problems than to solutions.”

Well, the truth is that I believe that. I believe that in order to progress, we must change. So, in every crisis, change is inevitable as it requires us to do something different in order to avoid the dangers presented by the crisis. I decided a long time ago, that I would do my best to live my life as a “cup half full” girl. Then, my mind was blown away by the concept of seeing the cup as overflowing! How can I possibly see the cup as overflowing while in the midst of such economic crisis? What I learned was to develop the habit of looking for the opportunity in each challenge. Really, they are there! Have you ever sat around feeling sorry for yourself about your challenges only to have someone remind you of what good thing you have available to you now? That is what happened to me.

It is truly an amazing experience when you start to see all the possibilities and opportunities that present themselves in the seemingly darkest of circumstances. For us, we discovered that there were dreams that my husband had never shared in regards to his career. We sat down and realized that losing his job was the perfect opportunity for him to start laying a foundation of decisions now, that would open up the opportunities for him to go for his dreams later. I also discovered the opportunities for me to learn many new business skills and technological skills that will support both me and him in our business pursuits. There have been more subtle opportunities as well. Opportunities for my children to learn to budget money wisely, to take care of their things better, to be more conscious of the way they use energy. We have also learned new ways to interact as a family. While we definitely miss some of the ways things used to be, we are learning that there are some other pretty fun ways to play together and share our lives together. We are each learning how important each one of us is to our family’s success and that we can each make a difference in our own way.

I am sure that there are a thousand other opportunities waiting for us before this ‘crisis’ is past. Yet, for now, I am grateful for the peace and confidence I feel despite the uncertainty in the world around me. I can feel the power of the unity this challenge has helped us find, and I know that we are much more capable of overcoming this challenge because we have looked for those opportunities to grow, to learn and to progress.

Action Moment:
What opportunity is available to you right now if you look past the current crisis and get to the heart of what you truly want in life?
What solutions are available to you?
If you were willing to stop complaining about what you no longer have, and instead, take action towards a solution, what would be different in your life right now?
Take a few minutes to journal your answers.
I challenge you to take one action in the next 3 days towards one of your solution opportunities.

Accessing the Power of Gratitude

by Lori Bottomley

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for: colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

• Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.

• Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.

• Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.

• Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.

• When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.

• Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications